Bits from a Monday

1. It’s been a crazy restless Sunday night, with me wide awake at midnight, then any immediate hope of sleep dashed by the call “MOMMM-MAY!” It can only mean one thing – the pull up has sprung a leak. Jamie’s upset, protesting, “But I didn’t drink too much water!” I mumble, reassuring, “It happens kiddo. Take off your clothes, I’ll be right back.” It’s funny, I had a feeling after 5+ nights of dry pull ups, that we’d be in for a leak or two.

2. I’m awake again for some reason at 5:00 am, looking at the clock, waiting for my alarm to go off. I’m finally up at 5:15, before the alarm, thinking that sometimes it’s easier to get up early when you weren’t really all that asleep. I leave the house 25 minutes later, still new, again, to the early morning workout routine. 5 minutes into Couch to 5K, day one, I’m thinking, “This sucks.” Then I remember Dr. Mama – jog so slowly when you’re starting out that it would be quicker to run. I do so, and a little while later I’m back at my house thinking, “Whoo, not too bad.”

3. There’s something going on in my life that I can’t write about here – but can reassure you that it’s outside the sphere of home – that has at least temporarily lifted a weight off my shoulders. It may be that it’ll be an out of the frying pan into the fire type of situation but for the time being, I’m hopefull. For the first time in…awhile.

4. General nuttiness abounds INSIDE the home sphere.  Jamie has somehow picked up poison oak and/or sumac although mercifully it only itches a little, at bedtime. MD thought he was working Tues/Thurs this week but got a text at 2:30 today asking him if he knew he was supposed to be at work. Turns out it’s Mon/Weds which is awesome for me. I’ve got a class at church tomorrow on $$$ (ack) and the knit gang on Thurs. As he’s leaving Cory struggles to get up the steps and MD kind of freaks out, leaving me an overwraught message at work although he’s fine later.

5. I throw together an impromptu but tasty dinner, and afterwards Jamie turns down our nightly walk (yay – I’m also sore from yardwork yesterday) in favor of playing in his room. I vacuum, and then clean the bathroom, and wonder at the fact that I’ve accomplished more today than I have on a Monday in ages. (See #3 I guess).

6. As I’m rocking Jamie, I ask him, “What wonderful dreams are you going to dream tonight?” I’m trying to set us up for a positive nighttime experience as there’s been a lot of “I don’t want to be ALONE” whining after plenty of time spent by one one or both parents. He starts out by saying, “Let me tell you two dreams I’m having right now. The first dream is I hope I have a new toy. Someday.” (Drama much? MD brings him home something weekly from the grocery store.) He hesitates. We’ve had some age-appropriate stuttering the past few months (which is actually kind of cute) but finally he blurts it out. “My second dream is that daddy, is that daddy, I wish that daddy’s leg would feel better.” “Jamie, you are so wonderful,” I say. “That is a very wonderful thing to wish.” Then he amends his list, saying that the “second one is actually the first one and the second dream is, I wish you weren’t allergic to cats.”

7. Now I’m taking my daily medicine and packing my lunch for tomorrow, and missing MD a tiny bit since he’s still at work but really, we’ve been gorging ourselves on family time as he’s working very few hours until after the 4th ($$$ ack) so it’s nice to be alone in a quiet house. Especially since I am so tired.  July is going to be rough (see: $$$ ack) in at least one way, and the future is uncertain in others, but I am content.

Sleep tight.

Things that won’t get the house clean

But sure are fun!

• Playing with goo.
• Chasing Jamie around the yard with the hose.
• Playing video games.
• Taking a walk while Jamie masters the scooter.

All things we did on Sunday instead of getting work done.

I think the both parents working thing really takes it’s toll on me in the summer. While the rest of the neighborhood is wide awake with older kids riding their bikes and people taking walks, I’m cajoling Jamie to bed. Sunday the weather was beautiful and it felt great to just enjoy a little time playing.

Kids are a mystery – painted face edition

We went to the Arts Festival on Sunday and to my surprise, Jamie asked to have his face painted. He’s always vehemently refused when asked. They were doing gold masks and he was adorable when they were done. He had little black ears above his eyebrows and long whiskers below his eyes, with some other embellishments and looked like a little kitty. But when I went to take a picture to send to MD he started crying and didn’t want me to show daddy.

???

Apparently, “black isn’t beautiful.” I think it’s because he’s really into what’s “beautiful” (for girls) and “cool” (for boys) and has been talking about “beautiful colors” lately. But when my sister and I tried to explain that we wear black on our eyes he wouln’t let it go. So I washed his face off as soon as we got home and we cuddled a little and he seemed to be over it until he talked to MD on the phone later. Whenever they end their conversations they do so by saying “I love you” and sometimes when MD starts to say it Jamie will stall by saying, “NO! Wait Daddy. I have to tell you something.” But this time he said, “No! Wait, daddy, I have to…well, it was something SO UGLY I just can’t tell you.”

The kid just doesn’t let things go.

Riding the bus makes you stupid

Stupid as in, how do I get out of downtown? Oh wait, missed the exit so I’ll turn around. Oh crap, can’t turn around here. Jeeze louise, I left downtown 10 minutes ago and hey, I’m back! Right, I’ve been getting off at this exit my entire life and still, I went the wrong way!

All the while sweating it because MD has to work late and I needed to get to daycare to pick Jamie up.

And now, I’ve eaten my nachos in the kitchen in front of the computer and as soon as the kiddo’s video is over, I guess I’ll make some for him.

I’ve gotten spoiled. MD, come home!

Quiet

I know I’ve been quiet here. I write so many posts in my head these days and never get a chance to sit down and write them for real. Same with email -  I write emails to people in my head and then forget that I never sent them. I’m pretty sure this is just a product of being stretched thin in multiple directions and not that I’m finally losing it for good.

Jamie’s daycare was closed yesterday and it was a gorgeous day. Cool in the morning, sunny and warm in the afternoon. We finally bought training wheels for his bike earlier this month and we took it to our big park with multiple bike paths yesterday and he was great! Rode a long time, followed the rules of the road (mostly), and it was hard for me to keep up with him on foot. After my allergies calm down I’m going to take both of our bikes to my dad’s house because they have trails built in to their huge development and they’re a lot less travelled than the park. I’m looking forward to getting on my bike again. It’s been far too long.

Two long weekends in a row have given my plenty of opportunity to think about our life and where I want to go from here. Time away from work has been good because it reminds me that even though I’m pleased about a lot of things right now and am looking forward to some new experiences, my long-term goal is to be somewhere else. Same thing for our house and our neighborhood. It’s lovely, quiet, (too quiet) and safe. But half a mile that way there’s a not so lovely neighborhood, and even worse, there’s nowhere to walk or ride bikes. I know what my dream neighborhood entails – walk/bikeability, central location/bus line, nearby park. And there are two that meet this description that we might, one day, be able to afford.

I did have a moment of melancholy yesterday about the lost baby/preschool years and how I was never able to stay home. But it’s time to look forward. We’re doing a lot better with our finances and even have a little money in our savings account. We’re learning how to wait and plan for things instead of just saying no, no, no, and then giving in and buying it ALL. (Kind of like financial bulimia.) And in 13 months we’ll be done paying for daycare, and then when Jamie is in 2nd grade we’ll have our debt paid off. My goal, the one I am afraid to say out loud, even here, is by the time he is in middle school, I want to be working part time and/or freelancing. A lot needs to happen to make that work. We may not get there, but I like having it out there.

Almost there

I got scolded a lot in my dreams last night. And I kept trying to get to my work calendar online and couldn’t. Typical anxiety dreams – I’m wrapping up a month-long series of events today and let me tell you, I am NOT an event management person. Sure, I’m competant and I get the job done but I don’t enjoy it. So this morning I’m breathing deeply and am so happy it’s almost over. And that Monday is Memorial Day and get this. MD is OFF! That makes me so very happy.

Jamie spent the night at a friend’s house last night and it’s very quiet this morning. MD worked into the wee hours so he’s still fast asleep but I had a hard time sleeping in. I popped awake at 6:30 and have been slipping in and out of sleep ever since. I’ll freely admit that I missed Jamie’s warm snuggly body next to me. He still creeps in bed with me/us in the middle of the night, sometimes at 4, sometimes at 5, sometimes skipping all together. The proud cosleeper that I am now says, good! Don’t stop doing that for awhile. But not sleeping in this morning is mainly because of work and not wanting to oversleep and not really being able to let go of my responsibilities, even in sleep. Hence, the dreams.

I’m off to drink some coffee and fry a couple of eggs since I can actually sit down and savor my breakfast. Then it’s off to the next thing and finally at about 1:30 today I’ll be able to heave a big sigh and relax. We’ll be at the Asian Festival this afternoon. Maybe we’ll see you there?

Whew

Work has been unrelenting and so my every day in May pledge fell through the cracks. In fact, the entire month fell through the cracks. Did you know this coming Monday is Memorial Day?? I KNOW!!

However, I have a real, bona fide excuse for not posting yesterday and that is because I threw my laptop in the dogs’ water dish.

Mmmhmmm. Why, you say? Because for the first and last time when I put the laptop in its sleeve I didn’t zip it. I don’t know why. All I can think of is because it was really hot and I thought I’d let it cool off a little before zipping it? Anyway, between the hustling Jamie through his morning routine and looking for my earrings and letting the dogs out so Cory didn’t pee on the floor, I forgot that the sleeve wasn’t zipped. So I grabbed it, unfortunately by the side opposite the zipper, and flung the thing across the dining room right into the water dish.

Did I mention this is my work laptop? Thankfully my boss was able to see the humor in the situation and even more thankfully, after drying out for a day it’s working. Yay!

So, more later. Promise.

Feeling a little sorry for myself

It’s 9:45, my 4 year old is still awake and my husband, who had to scoot down the stairs on his butt earlier his hips are in such bad shape, is snoring on the couch. I’m going to go reclaim what shred of an evening I have left by watching tv in bed and trying not to think about how I missed knit night yet again.

Sigh.

(And just so you know, every time I think about MD’s poor body I say a little prayer that goes something like this, “Thank you God for my healthy body that does everything I need it to do.”)

Just so you know I’m not totally selfish.

Liar liar pants on fire

Yes, I know I said every day in May. But bedtime has gone to hell and right now I’m working on not tossing the kid or myself out a window. Tomorrow, perhaps.

Bad doggy behaviour

My brother in law called MD yesterday with the news that they had just gotten two puppies – lab/beagle mixes.  Here’s hoping they leave some of the house/furniture intact during their puppy years. I had a boyfriend once whose beagle ate his couch, and Cory, a lab mix, has done some serious damage in his day. There’s the time MD came home to find him on top of our bed surrounded by the wires he had carefully extracted from our electric blanket. After chewing a massive hole in the middle of course.

Or the time that our roommate came home and went to our room to let him out of his crate and found that he had pulled all the blankets off our bed that were in reach and had wedged himself so tight in the crate that she had to brace her legs against the crate sides and pull him out by his shoulders. I was in Italy at the time, so that one I chalk up to pure spite.

Or the time when, after moving out of the townhome we shared with another couple (the roommate was the female half) and thought, hey, our bedroom in the townhouse was in the basement so we’ll just put him in the basement at the new place. And whoops, an unfinished utility room is not the same as MD found when he discovered that Cory had chewed a doggy door in the basement door. Crating in our bedroom worked really well too – not. I found him that time, after he had a) bent the top bars of the crate downward and b) chewed a hole in the wall around the electric outlet.

So, um, yeah. Have fun with the puppies folks!