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February 28, 2011 / allyo

Anticipation

It’s official. Not knowing where we’ll be living this summer is driving me batshit crazy. I’m a planner, and I’ve managed to take a real zen approach to things since I lost my job last year but enough already. I’m going to be cranky until we get our mediation date. Last we heard, it should be early April and we should be finding out right about now.

I keep looking at houses and twin singles for rent that are “perfect” for us (who knows because they remain sight unseen) and wondering if there will be anything left if we do have to move. Wondering if we’ll have a vegetable garden this summer or if we’ll have a few planters instead. Wondering when MD will be able to have his hip replacement surgery – if he’s going to have it done in time to recuperate before we go to Florida this summer it has to happen in early April.

It’s making me cranky and crazy and not wanting to even clean our house until we find something else and then the mess makes me even crankier. Should I be dreading the summer lawn mowing grind, or should I be trying to get rid of furniture and other stuff in anticipation of a smaller living space?

This is all bracketed by the fact that we may have to choose between living at our house for a minimum of 5 years if we do cut a deal – which makes me die a little on the inside – and paying off a second mortgage (part of a 80/20 split designed to “save” us money) while not living at the house it belongs too. A proposition that also makes me die a little on the inside. Of course, I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about so we may be facing other, more odious, or more pleasant decisions because WE JUST DON’T KNOW.

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