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April 27, 2010 / allyo

(Knock on Wood) but I think it’s all working out

Get a load of this dream I had two nights ago. I got a call from an adoption agency about a young boy – 3ish – who was available for adoption immediately. This is where the dream started so there’s no backstory other than me thinking that Thorn wasn’t going to believe how quickly our process went and hoping she didn’t hate me. He didn’t talk much but was very snuggly. The bulk of the dream was the two of us together. I decided that yes, this was the boy for us and called MD and told Jamie and then I was driving home to get things ready when I realized I didn’t HAVE anything ready. We still only had the one bedroom with the one bed. We only had the one car seat. No clothes in his size. Etc. So then I freaked out wondering what the hell I had gotten us into.

Really, not a lot of analysis needed there considering the anxiety I’ve had over my job loss and whether to follow my heart – freelance – or take something salaried but not as exiting or fulfilling. BUT, I have good news on the job front. I have gone full-out freelance and just confirmed my second long-term contract yesterday. I have full time work with two clients as of next week, and I have a meeting with another potential client on Friday for possible short term projects. Cash flow is an issue right now but we have food in the house and most of the bills are paid and things should even out by the middle to end of next month!

Everything that’s either panned out or has been close to it are gigs that I found through my contacts from my old job. The first long-term client (org1) I signed on with earlier this month is a nonprofit I worked with very closely over the years and I’m a big believer in their mission and as I’ve been working from home and running around to meetings the last few weeks I’ve had a hard time believing that I was actually working. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way. Org 1 contacted me immediately after I lost my job and we started conversations the very next week. This was a huge boost to my fragile ego and helped me find the courage to reach out to my network – as my sister said, I had 10 years worth of contacts to draw upon. Why wouldn’t I take advantage of that?

Anyway, it’s still all sinking in. Org 1 is small and dependent mostly upon grant funds and their cash flow is the reason why MY cash flow is suffering a bit right now but my main job with them is to raise money and I see a lot of potential there for both income growth and diversification. My second client (org 2) is larger and more stable and my contract with them runs through next February. I feel good about the rest of this year, and I’m digging deep inside of me to find the flexibility to be ok with just that – feeling ok about the next 7 months rather than having it all planned out for the next 7 years.

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4 Comments

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  1. Jody / Apr 27 2010 3:32 pm

    Good news. I’m glad things are looking up.

  2. Friend D / Apr 27 2010 3:52 pm

    I’m starting to think your dreams are the parental equivalent of those college dreams where you signed up for a class but forgot to ever go, and the final was next week…..

    congrats on gig 2.

  3. Thorn / Apr 27 2010 4:26 pm

    My stress dreams are ALWAYS about having to take care of a baby or little children unexpectedly (and often during a nuclear apocalypse or something, for added fun) but I’m glad I get to be a guilt-inducing feature in yours!

    I’m glad things are coming together for you. It sounds like you’re headed in some good directions. It must be terrifying, but I hope you’re able to enjoy parts too!

  4. LittleWit / Apr 27 2010 4:55 pm

    I am so excited for you! 🙂 *hugs*

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