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March 31, 2010 / allyo

A small bump in the road*

SDC10191

Jamie and Max, his “germint” shepherd, playing Uno yesterday  morning. PJ pants are handmade but he’s not sure if he likes them or not. I think the plaid is a little too crazy for his 5 yo taste, which makes sense because I bought it when he was 3.

For several months now our days with Jamie have been gradually turning upside down. We’ve experienced that 5 yo golden age here and there, but since at least January, maybe a little before but does the fall count, ever? What with birthdays and holidays, and for us, the death of a pet? Anyway, we’ve been noticing since January that more and more of our time is spent trying to a) get Jamie’s attention, b) get Jamie to stop singing/spinning/making noises/repeating words or numbers or gibberish so we can get his attention already, c) get Jamie to do something routine, say, brush his teeth, d) get Jamie to calm the freak down already, usually by picking him up and depositing in his room, or e) some combination of all of the above.

Whenever I think it’s oh, a phase, or oh, he’s only 5, or oh, he’s just an active little boy I remember something our marriage counselor told us way back when. Basically, 85-90% of your time as a married couple should be pleasant. Enjoyable even. The other 10-15% was the unpleasant part. By the time we went to see her our ratio had flipped completely. We were at war most of the time, with peaceful interludes here and there. That’s the way it feels with Jamie these days. He’s having a hard time at daycare too, and finally, I talked to his pediatrician. She first handed me some information about ADHD. He’s laser-focused when he wants to be (he was sitting coloring quietly while we were having this conversation, plus, see the photo above) but he’s also incredibly easily distracted, has trouble following through on the simplest of tasks, can’t sit still at the dinner table anymore, etc. Then we talked a little about his freak out episodes and she handed me a list of doctors and said we could probably skip a follow up visit with her and go straight to a psychologist. Whatever the cause of this, um, jittery-ness?, is, he can’t handle it and that’s the big issue. It’s possible that most of this behavior is due to fear about kindergarten with a little stress/sense of loss at me losing my job. But regardless of the cause, he’s having trouble functioning and he’s disrupting our lives to the point that we’re not enjoying him the way we used to.

*I hope. I’ve gotta run for now, but later I’ll post more about how this is freaking ME out. Heh.

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2 Comments

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  1. lingonlife / Mar 31 2010 12:28 pm

    Hi! I have a 3yr old son. Your 5 yr old doesn’t sound all that different from ours. Maybe it’s the degree of distractedness that differs. Either way, hang in there!

  2. Kelly / Apr 1 2010 7:17 pm

    I am sure you don’t need reminding of the following two items, but here goes. Ya know these things — both the good and the not good — seem to last for six month spurts, so here’s hoping you are on the edge of a new six months. Second, Jamie is at his core a sweet kid. Today when I picked Henry up, Jamie asked him for a hug. It reminded me of the time a while ago when Jamie asked Henry for a hug and my socially inept little micro-me said no. Jamie then gave me a look as if to say “how about you?” I gave him a hug and the one I got back was very dear.

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