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November 3, 2009 / allyo

Trick or Treat!

Trick or treat!

Smell my feet!

With sword

Holy crap!

Argh

What a week!

That’s Jamie’s pirate sneer there. Terrifying, eh?

So, last week. Never again, I hope, I pray. Thursday was my birthday and I had the day off for reasons that were then canceled so I found myself at home on a gorgeous day with my two dogs, one of whom would be dead the following evening. Or so went my train of thought. I took some pictures of Cory, including the one from the last post and others of him stalking the tomatoes for the last time and that’s pretty much how the day went. Last day at home with two dogs. Last evening. Then last morning, last dinner, and then it was over.

Having the vet come to our house and having us all present was the best choice for us. Jamie is fine, has expressed sadness and compassion for MD and I, and refers to Cory frankly and openly when appropriate in our day to day lives.

MD and I, on the other hand, fell apart a bit. It’s not just that Cory was with us for almost 14 years, it’s the particular 14 years he witnessed. We were broken up when he first came home with MD, then less than 2 months later we were back together and I had moved in. He lived in 2 apartments with us and our first (and current) house. A brush with almost-divorce. Jamie’s birth, several deaths. He was a constant source of comfort and aggravation and I want him to still be here in the same way that I want my grandma to be here. His death is one more loss from the time that used to be and as I also turned 39 last week I am acutely aware of the fact that I am not as young as I used to be.

One thing that I am extremely grateful for is that Cory lived long enough for Jamie to remember him. It’s a nice linkage between that life we used to have and the one we have now.

One thing that I was not prepared for was how quickly it would go in the end. The vet came to our house, petted Cory, we moved down to the family room where MD and I sat on the floor and the vet gave Cory a sedative. “A whopping dose” that did nothing (stubborn dog). So we ended up holding Cory down a little, although his head was in MD’s lap. Within 30 seconds of the second injection containing an overdose of anesthetic, Cory was unconscious. It took about 1 minute or 2 for his heart to stop. I think it was because the sedative didn’t work, but it felt so abrupt and I spent a day and a half thinking I hadn’t kissed and hugged him goodbye until MD found out what was making me so upset (besides the obvious) and told me that I had.

Every day is easier and I keep reminding myself that he was SICK. And even though MD and Jamie both want another dog (as my Friend D said, “That’s age appropriate for JAMIE) I have said no. We can talk about it this time next year but for the time being I need a break. And Maggie needs to learn how to be the only dog. She’s been acting a little lost and has been spending most of her time on our bed and has been VERY quiet. This morning, though, she seemed a little more energetic. We’re going to have to help her a bit and that’s enough for now.

 

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4 Comments

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  1. MystikMomma / Nov 3 2009 7:04 pm

    Maybe I don’t say this enough, but I miss you, all of you. Just looking at the pictures, smelling the smells of fall, knowing of your birthday and festivities of the past, also knowing Cory as a pup, well gosh darn it, I miss you.

    There was something in your hand made costume for Jamie that just hit me like a ton of bricks. It is so perfect and he is so happy in it. I love it! I mean I love it.

    Okay, enough of whatever it is I am experiencing, but just thought to share.

    Hugs!

  2. dawn / Nov 3 2009 8:00 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Allyo. Losing a friend is just so hard.

  3. dawn / Nov 3 2009 8:00 pm

    P.S. 39 has got to be a better year because this last year was surely not the year you deserved!!

  4. LittleWit / Nov 4 2009 9:51 am

    I love Jamie’s boots. I am glad to hear everyone is doing ok.

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