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January 23, 2009 / allyo

A little about the boy – UPDATED

Jamie and I ran into Dawn and Brett and Madison at Wendy’s tonight. I saw them while we were sitting in the drivethrough and I was snapping at Jamie to let me talk to the burger people already or we were going to go home and eat CEREAL for dinner* when I saw them walking in and honked and hollered and they looked confused and I yelled out the window who we were and then they realized who we were and didn’t run inside to get away, so I was all like, “we’ll bring our food inside” and totally crashed their dinner. Um, I get excited about spending the evening with someone besides Jamie, as much as I love him. Because these days he’s reminding me that he has his own equilibrium/disequilibrium pattern. We get a preview of disequilibrium at the year and 3 months mark rather than at the year 6 months mark and it catches me by surprise every time.

Anyway, Dawn said I should blog this so I am. Jamie is very into gender these days, and the other day he declared that he only liked boys. I said, “I’m a girl” and he said, “I like you.” And I said, “L’s a girl (Friend D’s daughter) and he said, “I like her.” And I said, “Madison’s a girl” and he said, “I like her.” So there you have it, Madison’s on his short list. I think those crazy kids have a future.

The other thing that cracks me up is that he needs me to be fully clothed at ALL times these days. Recently I got, “Mommy, I am very tired of you being naked ALL THE TIME.” Uh, not naked and quit bugging me after I get out of the shower then. And a lot of the times I’ll be half-dressed in just a top and he asks me with pure horror in his voice, “Do you have your underwear on??” It’s pretty funny.

Ooh, and one more thing about Jamie. He’s got my nerves, which means anything that is the teeniest, tiniest scary is just. TOO. MUCH. He won’t even watch it. Except recently he’ll watch and let us skip the scary parts (i.e., Wall-E when Eva first arrives). Tonight he watched a Dora (I KNOW) that he thought was going to be scary and was pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t. So hopefully he’ll grow up without a debilitating fear of scary movies that means if they’re watched at all they’re watched at home, with all the lights on, while clutching a stuffed animal, pillow, or significant other, or some combination of the three.

And now onto the me portion of this entry. I had my appointment with my doctor this morning and happily remembered my wallet this time. Diagnosis: Generalized anxiety disorder. I have to say, I was so anxious and tense that my blood pressure was normal instead of low, and I could hardly knit. And every time she asked a question and I’d answer she’d nod and type and I’d start to almost cry and now even without having taken any meds my shoulders are starting to unclench. I’m back on z0loft because hey, it was working pretty well and so why not up the dosage? Which, thank you for confirming that my NP (OBGYN office) was having a bad day or something two years ago when she refused to do so and handed me a sheet of info about supplements instead. I’m still taking my fish oil/calcium/vitamin cocktail but it’s not quite enough. And I scored some x@n@x for the short term which means I may be able to get some sleep one of these days without the tv being on and me tricking my body into thinking that I’m just hanging out. Otherwise my heart starts to pound and my mind races and I’m screwed.

And MD started welbutrin this week so hey! Throw in some rit@lin for the kid and we’d be a full medicated family!

*This is my #1 dinner threat and i’ve never made him eat cereal for dinner, and I don’t know that it’s that bad of a thing since I do it all the time.

UPDATED because, um, holy typo, Batman. Did I mention that even though my shoulders are unclenching my poor little heart is still going pitter pat pitter pat at a more than comfortable rate?



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  1. Laura / Jan 23 2009 9:36 pm

    I have GAD, too, so I can relate. It’s been much better with medication, though I still have those days I want to throw the pills out the window because I think I can “overcome it.”

    Oh, and right after Bob and I split up, I made them re-take my blood pressure because it was high instead of low. I sat there meditating and breathing and trying to calm myself down because I refused to have him affect my blood pressure, too!

    And if you have any sleep insights, let me know. That’s my next issue to tackle with my therapist.

    And I have cereal for dinner all the time. Is that a bad thing?

  2. LittleWit / Jan 23 2009 10:47 pm

    I am glad the doctor’s visit was successful. Hopefully things will look up for you! 🙂

  3. dawn / Jan 24 2009 11:25 am

    It was good to see you guys last night. I can’t believe we ran into you!!!!

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