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January 10, 2009 / allyo


My grandma died about an hour ago. She waited for my uncle to make it up from Virginia last night, same as my grandpa. Which I think is really fascinating.

I have a picture from our wedding that has my grandma and her children – my dad, my aunts, and my uncle. They are standing under a tree that was planted in memory of my grandpa. I used that so that Jamie would know exactly who I was talking about. We talked about how she was (his) grandpa’s mommy, and how everyone would be sad, including me and MD. When he said that grandma would be sad I told him no, she was happy right now because cancer hurts and she doesn’t hurt anymore, and that she’s also happy because she’s in heaven with my grandpa. I don’t really believe in heaven, I believe in reincarnation. But I think it’s an appropriate construct for children to cope with death.

We are going to take him to the funeral home for a little bit, so I told him about that and told him that her body would be there, and that if he wanted to see it he could but he didn’t have to. We talked about souls and how the soul leaves the body when you die and how the body is like a statue with no person inside.

That entire conversation took about 5 minutes, and then I asked him for a hug because I was sad. Then I told him that when I was his age, when I used to go to grandma’s house and she would give me all the ice cream I wanted. How I eat some ice cream and I’d ask for more and she’d say, “Yes!” and I’d ask for more and she’d say “Yes!” And then I’d ask for even more and she’d say “Yes!” It’s true too. Her freezer was on the bottom of the fridge and she always had a box of eskimo pies and I could help myself to as many as I wanted. I spent a lot of time with her in her kitchen as a child. My dad had me every Sunday and before he married my stepmom he lived with his college roommates in a place unfit for a small child, so we went to my grandparents a lot.

She was easy to be around, uncomplicated, and beloved by all of us. She is going to be greatly missed.



Leave a Comment
  1. writearm / Jan 10 2009 10:20 am

    I’m so sorry to hear this.
    Take care. I’ll be thinking of you.

  2. MystikMomma / Jan 10 2009 11:44 am

    Nice Ice Cream memory. Tanti Abracci!

    Jamie will be fine, you will be fine and your Grandma is pain free, flying around trying to find the next stop for her spirit.

  3. American Family / Jan 10 2009 12:27 pm

    I am so sorry. Maybe you and Jamie can share an eskimo pie and think of her. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

  4. Laura / Jan 10 2009 1:25 pm

    I’m so sorry, Alicia. I think ice cream is a great way to celebrate your grandmother’s life. I had a margarita to celebrate my grandmother when she passed–she loved getting her “margaritas” (basically, lemonade in a Dixie cup) at her nursing home.

    I’m definitely thinking of you and your family.

  5. whylime / Jan 10 2009 6:07 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your writing about her and about how your family is managing this loss is beautiful and touching and a lovely tribute to the woman. you are in my thoughts, friend.

  6. Monica / Jan 10 2009 8:17 pm

    I’m so sorry.

  7. dawn / Jan 10 2009 8:39 pm

    I’m so sorry, Alicia. I so wish that the good times that I KNOW are coming for you would hurry up and get here. Hugs to you.

  8. littlewit / Jan 10 2009 9:11 pm

    I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Giant hugs to you. Call me if you need anything.

  9. Abby / Jan 11 2009 9:29 am

    I’m so sorry, Ally. What beautiful memories.

  10. bmiad / Jan 11 2009 9:25 pm

    I’m sorry, Ally. It sounds like she was awesome, and you probably have a lot from her that you’ll have for the rest of your life.

  11. Jody / Feb 19 2009 5:26 pm

    I’m so sorry, Ally. It does sound like you had a great grandma.

    Mine died almost seven years ago now and I still miss her a lot.

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