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July 14, 2008 / allyo

Achilles Heel

Jamie and I have been at serious odds with each other lately. Every evening last week had at least one major pont of contention and there were two nights with an hour+ of screaming. Mostly Jamie. I’ve been trying reallyreallyreally hard not to raise my voice lately. And even so, his stuffed puppy informed me on the way to daycare last Friday that “he” was sad because I had “screamed” at him. Sigh. Long memories make for guilty parents.

Most of the angst revolved around two issues – sleeping (no surprise) and eating (big huge surprise). Jamie has suddenly decided he’s picky about his food and I ain’t having it. He’s NEVER been picky and I can count on one hand his food issues. Doesn’t like mushrooms (and sometimes zucchini), doesn’t like a mix of textures (smooth is smooth, no chunks – although this is less pronounced these days), doesn’t like steak and sometimes pork. Thinks he doesn’t like chicken but almost always does. Therefore, we’ve had the “one bite” rule in our house since he was about a year and a half old, and I’ve never really dumbed down our menu. Sure, I don’t make things screamingly spicy and if we’ve had a particularly international week or two I’ll offer something kid friendly on the night that could possibly break his sense of adventure, but this is the kid that often eats as much or more as me at any given meal and I’m not exactly a lightweight.

We’re working through it with lots of reinforcing of the eat your food or you get cereal/pb&j rule.  The other issue, well, that’s not only a bone of contention between Jamie and I but MD has his own opinions and methodology and the result is a big ole cluster-fuck. If I give Jamie any quarter – say if I lay down with him “just one more time” then 9 times out of 10 we’re on the slippery slope to repeated requests and tantrums that keep him awake well past 10 pm.  But if MD is flexible, it works. So of course he thinks that I could maybe do things a little differently – or as he put it, “[he] doesn’t have any problems at bedtime while [I] do so maybe [I] should listen to [his] ideas” – and it’ll all be well.

Yeah. It’s all been me, these long three and a half years. Could we not point fingers here, really? Everyone has their Achilles heel. MD and Jamie have been fighting about breakfast for a couple of weeks now. Other kids will only eat three/white foods, or destroy the furniture, or write on walls. No one and no one’s kids are perfect. And in a single household there are so many personalities and dynamics in the mix…in our house very often there are 3 children and not one adult willing to step up and make the madness stop already. We could all do better, is all I’m trying to say.


This week is vacation bible school and oi, talk about madness. I’m working tonight and tuesday so it’ll be full tilt until 9 pm. Weds and thurs I’m eating, dropping, and running, then returning later for pick up.  And I’ve just decided that come hell or high water I’m going to knitting night on Thursday. I skipped it last week because Md’s leg was hurting, and I think we both realized that was a mistake when at 6:30, fed up with the whining about dinner YET AGAIN – dude was griping about freaking TATER TOTS – I told Jamie to eat or I was locking him in his room for the rest of the night.

And it seemed like a totally reasonable response.


One Comment

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  1. LittleWit / Jul 14 2008 12:30 pm

    Hugs! We will look forward to seeing you at knit night. And seriously, locking in rooms for the entire night is totally a reasonable response, I am quite sure I heard it growing up and I think I may have threatened it on a sibling once or twice. 😉

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