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May 26, 2008 / allyo

I don’t

Believe in spanking – in fact, I’ve had trouble remaining friends with a couple of people I’ve known for almost two decades because spanking is a regular part of their discipline strategy. And yet, you have my last post.

You ever have a day where you feel like apologizing to your kid(s) for bringing them into your house? Because it’s so chaotic or unhappy or hell, dirty. That’s how I felt on Saturday. At one point I was in the kitchen washing dishes and Jamie was standing there yelling at me about his food, and MD’s a half story away on the couch trying to have a conversation with me – or asking me to do something for him, who knows anymore, and I couldn’t make out what either of them were saying because I was WASHING the DAMN DISHES, and I could feel the pressure squeezing my head and pushing down on my shoulders. I think I’ve done a good job appreciating how much MD does around here, even when he is having a hard time getting around or is working an insane, family-unfriendly schedule, but this week has really hit home how much he really does. I feel like I’ve been in perpetual motion since last Tuesday and my body feels tired and old.

Yesterday and today were much better and this morning I let (begged) Jamie watch back-two-back Blue’s Clues episodes so I could snooze until 8 and it made a huge difference. Yesterday Jamie and I went to two cookouts, one with my family and one at my Friend D’s house. Today we spent a good chunk of time at Dawn‘s, and Jamie and Madison got along beautifully the entire time. Not that they don’t usually, but seriously, we were there for HOURS and it was fun fun fun the whole time. Jamie’s being very 3 1/2 right now and cries hysterically at the drop of a hat so I don’t count the few times that happened. I mean, what’s a little sobbing between friends?

Oh! And we got into our first choice daycare after 2 years on the waiting list. Jamie starts this september. I think it’ll be really good for him for lots of reasons that I’ll discuss when I have more time. I’m so thrilled about this, I can’t even describe it.

However, although MD’s gout is marginally better I doubt he’ll be able to work tomorrow and I can’t get away to take him to the doctor until Weds. Besides the fact that the man has been in severe pain for the past week – longer, but of course the post-op pain has been really bad – and I’m worried and wishing I could do something, besides that small thing, he doesn’t have sick time at this job. So no work – no pay and we’re fighting like mad for financial stability right now as it is.

It’ll all work out. I do believe that. I just wish the getting there wasn’t so uncomfortable.


One Comment

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  1. FriendD / May 27 2008 5:54 pm

    I don’t think I know any parent who hasn’t had that moment that they wished they could take back. Some weeks I have them every day. But everyone has felt overwhelmed with the weight and responsibility of the kids and sometimes those preschooler tantrums are more than one can take. But every day is a chance to do right again and you can start over. Is it really sooo unbelieveable that you might swipe the bottom of a child who was probably being a.) rude b.) loud and c.) impatient? Now matter how much you love them and how charming they are, you are human. I am an anti-spanker, too, and although it is not part of my discipline routine, no one should judge you for falling into that trap when you are truly overwhelmed.

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