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August 16, 2007 / allyo

Eating my words

Ok fine, you all were right. Jamie’s laying quietly in his bed, awake, as I type. (Ok, just heard a whispered “mommy” over the monitor but this is only night 2 of MY NEW APPROACH to sleep). (And now we have a repeated “mommy. mommy. mooommmeeee. moommeee. mommymommymommy.) (And he’s at his door – be right back)

Ok. After protesting that my child just cannot fall asleep without the loving prescence of his mommy, I decided to start leaving before he fell quite asleep. Last night I decided to leave as he was lying quietly, but still quite awake. There were tears, protesting, but I had already been sitting in there for 45 minutes and it was 9:00 and enough already.

(Oh wait, there he is again. He needs a tissue.)

Anyway, I think I was leaving too early before. It seems if I sit with him long enough for him to get the wiggles out, and the chatting – both of which, if they go on to long, result in me leaving the room for two minutes for a time out. It took him 20 minutes to get to that point tonight and let’s see, it’s been another 20 minutes of quiet followed crabbing and whining at the door, and now it’s quiet again. Oh, and going back in the room just fuels the fire. I’m finding that if I stand at the doorway and in my stern yet quiet mom voice say, “Back to bed,” he complies. Of course I’m f’d if that stops working, so I’m not going to think about it.

The nice thing is my sewing/computer room is right here across the hallway so I can actually get some (quiet) things done while this is going on.

Hmph. I’m waiting for the “I told you so’s.” S’okay, you can say it.

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3 Comments

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  1. Gloria / Aug 16 2007 4:42 pm

    Yay for you!! I hope it continues working and just gets better and better. I totally know the frustration of watching the minutes tick away while your son does his best to keep himself awake while you sit in his room, and I know the heart-wrenching pain of leaving the room and hearing the cries/screams/and “MOMMIEEES!” of protest. I’ve also noticed that those few minutes of talking after the lights go out and right before bed are pretty important for Sol. It’s like that’s the only time he slows down enough to process things that bothered him during the day, so that’s when I learn about things that he’s struggling with. It’s hard to balance really listening to him with letting him babble too long and just drag out the bedtime routine, though. And, of course, he’s onto the fact that I listen to him when he’s upset, so now when I get up to leave he’ll say something like, “But mommy, mommy wait. Ihave to tell you something. Apples aren’t purple.” Followed by voluminous faked tears. It’s funny now because he’s not good at manufacturing false upsets, but once he gets better at it, I’m hosed!

  2. Vienna / Aug 20 2007 12:35 am

    I don’t know what to say. In our house, Daddy is the crutch. I get all of the babble, chatter, songs, and wiggling, and once I get him to lay down, daddy comes in , rubs his back & head (it’s a pattern- 20 rubs on the back, 10 on the head, and another 20 on the back) with no other fanfare and then leaves. 99.7 times out of 100, that’s it. Randomly he’ll call for something (water, or a doll to sleep with) but then heads off to sleep on his own. Kyle started this all on his own. I did the whole rocking until he was dead asleep thing and all the while Kyle was just dumping him in bed, giving him a rub, and leaving. That has turned into Kyle being the crutch, though, so about 1 time out of 100, I can actually put Jack to sleep. Other than that, it’s Kyle. Maybe MD can do something similar? Something that is no fuss, no muss, no talking, it’s bedtime? (Forgive me if you’ve already tried this.) I don’t know if it would work at this stage, but it may be worth a shot. I tee the ball up, and K hits it home. 🙂

  3. Austina / Aug 20 2007 2:29 pm

    Just a quick thought came into my mind as I am reading all the comments on sleep, my own included, and realized our parents or care takers didn’t spend this much time on our sleeping issues, if we had them. Why have we, a collected society hell bent on doing the “right” thing, created such a conundrum around the sleep issue?

    What would our caretakers have done? I certainly don’t remember my parents doing all of these suggestions. I find the more I do, the more it takes away from the reality of what needs to be done. Make sense?

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