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August 11, 2007 / allyo

Cancelled

We interrupt this discussion about sleep to instead announce that our upcoming garage sale has been cancelled.

This morning in the shower I found myself wondering if the big zit I felt coming up on my cheek was somehow a sign that I was pregnant. The odds being 99:1 didn’t stop me from going off on a fantasy scenario of an unexpected pregnancy, MD somehow finding a nighttime job that would accomodate my work schedule and yet still get him home early enough to wake up in the morning and care for our two children all day, and my job agreeing without argument to cover health insurance for my entire family for free.

About an hour later I found myself in the kitchen with tears in my eyes explaining to MD that I didn’t think I wanted to have the garage sale after all. We’ve already sold most of our cloth diapers and both toddler car seats through Craigslist, but putting all Jamie’s clothes and toys and contraptions out in the driveway next week was just too much. Md of course thought I was being pretty neurotic and trying not to laugh at me told me fine, we’ll wait. But, I said, if there’s no chance of us having another child then why bother? Because, he replied, there was no harm in waiting and why beat myself up over it? Besides, we had never really taken adoption off the table, and while he was happy with one child he’d be happy with more too.

But, but, what’s the timeline, I asked? What was our strategy? And this time he did laugh, telling me we didn’t need to figure it out this morning and he really had to get outside and mow the lawn.

So now I guess we’re going to figure out a way to cram all this stuff back in the attic and instead of being tied up in a neat little bow, our future as a family is once again wide open.

I can live with that.

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6 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. dawn / Aug 11 2007 10:34 pm

    Am I allowed to be kinda excited from the sidelines or should I pretend to be neutral?

  2. Kelly / Aug 12 2007 1:11 am

    Sometimes decisions don’t have to be staked into the ground. Wide open is good.

  3. Vienna / Aug 12 2007 1:59 am

    Gah!

    That is all.

  4. karriew / Aug 14 2007 11:30 pm

    Shame on you, Vienna! 🙂

    I have to agree with Kelly. Maybe you’re not really sure, or maybe this is just a passing twinge. I’ve felt momentary twinges before when unloading old gear and toys. M doesn’t notice, but I miss those carefully selected things for awhile.

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