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July 19, 2007 / allyo


We’ve been hemorrhaging money that we don’t actually have lately. So far this week: $120 for the second 10-day course of meds for Cory that don’t really seem to be working; $813 for unexpected repairs for my car, the only vehicle we have that holds the whole family; $238 for two new car seats for Jamie. He only needs one rightthisminute, but he’ll need the second in probably less than two months and at this point, why the hell not? It’s not like another $120 is going to make a difference. Oh, and the fridge is slowly but surely dying.

The good news is I’m selling my cloth diaper stash on Craigslist and it’s going quickly and in the end will probably pay for one of our car seats. I’m underpricing a lot of them but that’s because I bought most of them second-hand already.

But it’s hard. It’s hard to not beat myself up for bad choices MD and I have made, for choosing meaning over money in my career path, for having a child knowing damn well we couldn’t really afford him, and just generally indulging in mental self-flagellation. What makes it harder is I’m surrounded by people with money in my daily professional life. Rich board members, colleagues who must have a) trust funds or b) partners who make lots of money or c) no dependents to care for, and corporate fat cats. You start to think that everyone but you is doing well because really, how many of us like to talk about that fact that the best thing about their kids starting school is that they can put that monthly daycare payment towards all the credit card debt they’ve been racking up? And my well-honed sense of liberal guilt never fails to remind me that there are plenty of people out there who would kill to have my problems, with my high speed internet, cell phones (no land line) and digital cable with two dvrs. The problem is, that’s pocket change. It’s the mortgage, the almost $400 month that goes to both health insurance and maintenance meds for MD and I, the second mortgage in the form of daycare… And all things that shouldn’t cost so much, if our government truly cared about families.

But my point really is, being broke is a fact of life and more of us are struggling than not. So what’s so bad about talking about it? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and sometimes, no matter what you do, there’s just not enough money to go around.



Leave a Comment
  1. Dawn / Jul 19 2007 7:41 pm

    Yeah, see this is why we need to hang with each other more. And you’ve got to meet my sister because you will love her!! And we can bitch about being broke and it’ll be FUN!

  2. karrie / Jul 19 2007 9:51 pm

    You nailed it here:

    all things that shouldn’t cost so much, if our government truly cared about families

    So much of the struggle Americans have is senseless.

  3. Austina / Jul 21 2007 9:14 pm

    Wow, this one is right where I am today. Today, my bday, I am struggling with the guilt of over extending my family’s finances. I am upset at where I am in life, not owning a home, not being able to really enjoy my bday because it may cost too much. I am also sick and tired of that nagging inside of my head… you’re gonna have to go back to work… I cried today, just thinking of how terrible it is to try and live a decent life. To try and buy organic earth friendly diapers that are not clorinated to kill your child’s skin and reproductive cells, do I have to stop that purchase? Do I have to buy chemically sprayed foods and kill my families bodies, because this damn country we live in doesn’t really care about the health of wealth of its members, or should I say poorer, hard working members? Ugh, what a crappy day, as the sun shines and the boys laugh, I cry inside knowing just how poor we are. Shameful it truly is shameful.

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