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May 18, 2007 / allyo

I do it!

That’s been one of Jamie’s favorite phrases for some time now. It slows us down sometimes but I usually indulge his desire to do it all himself. Sometimes I use it against him as a way to get his pokey little bottom in gear. Jamie, do you want me to open the bathroom door? NO, no, I DO IT! And he scampers up the stairs.

It’s usually quicker to let him do it than to deal with the aftermath of me doing it instead – tears! screaming! betrayal! But the truth is, I completely understand. It’s the urge to do it myself that led me to sewing almost a year ago now.

It’s not just the sewing. The first time I heard about hydrogen fuel cell energy the idea of having our own home generator and being completely off the grid was surprisingly appealing to me. Given the cost of eggs (non-corporate farmed ones) and how much we love them, I’d have a couple of chickens in the backyard if it was legal. I’m staunchly pro-public services so this surprises people, but the idea of being truly self-supporting really speaks to me.

In fact, it almost feels like a spiritual calling. Living simply, turning away from the materialistic attitude that served as a crutch for years, propping up my depression. I was a compulsive shopper. MD drank, I shopped, both of us spending money we didn’t have. We’ll be paying for those choices for a long time, but I feel there’s a lesson to be learned. I want to teach Jamie joy, rather than envy over what he can’t have, creativity rather than regret. Baking bread from scratch – something we’re doing this weekend that Jamie is so excited about – growing our own vegetables, reusing, recycling, living simply without feeling like we’re doing without. Those are the gifts I want to give my son.

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