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February 21, 2007 / allyo

Who, me?

A few months ago the thought first crossed my mind. “Now I get it. In the 70s, the cliche of the wife and mother leaving to ‘find herself.'” I always thought that if an adult woman didn’t know herself by the time she was married and had children then too bad, she never would. But now I understand. How often do I think, “Who, me? This is my mess to clean up? I have to be the adult here? I have to be in charge? When and how did that happen?” And I think about what I’d be doing if I didn’t have a child/wasn’t married/was working some dead-end job. The alcohol I could drink, the partying I could do, the cigarettes I could smoke. I know I’d be miserable, really, but “the grass is only greener” isn’t a common expression for no reason.

I’m not overwhelmed (well, I often am but that’s another entry), it’s the sheer ridiculousness that me, little ole me, is in charge. Of a house and bills and animals, of a department, of a life other than my own. “But, but….I didn’t ask for this! I’m not ready, can’t someone else take over?” No, no they can’t.

Sigh. All right then. I’ll just have to do the best I can.

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4 Comments

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  1. Kelly / Feb 21 2007 8:25 pm

    I hear you! When did we become grown ups?

  2. Vienna / Feb 24 2007 2:43 am

    It hits me hard sometimes. That’s when I don’t shower before noon on Saturday and let Jack watch TV while I drool on myself. Kinda like being single! But, I still don’t know how this happened! Heh.

  3. KJ / Feb 24 2007 3:15 am

    Me, what I finally got was the old Calgon commercials. Calgon, Take Me Away!

  4. karriew / Feb 26 2007 1:13 pm

    I’m still ‘here’, just fighting to be heard and taken seriously. It is exhausting!

    LOL @ Vienna

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