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October 8, 2006 / allyo

It’s so late but this popped in my head and I wanted to get it down, since I’ve really been sucking at this blogging thing lately

Bathtime has been little dramatic lately because in typical two year old fashion,instead of being merely displeased at having his hair washed Jamie either thinks it’s funny or howls bloody murder and never recovers in order to actually enjoy his bath. This was the second type of night. He was fighting it before I even got him in the tub so I called md up for moral support. Usually I’d skip the tub all together but he was pretty smelly and we’re going to my dad’s tomorrow for dinner so there won’t be time. Even I wouldn’t want to send him to daycare on Monday quite that stinky.

Anyway, when Jamie howls and screams and does his irrational act I tend to have a little giggle and let him work it out. Or get really frustrated and walk away. Either way I don’t take it very seriously. But lately I have realized that sometimes he needs me to pick him up, give him a cuddle and a kiss, and tell him it’s going to be ok. In my defense, if I had tried that a couple of months ago it would have earned me an outraged smack in the face and an even longer tantrum.

ANYWAY, I was doing the giggling thing and md was outraged. "He’s really upset!" But then, md usually takes these things more seriously than me. Turns out tonight he was right and after we negotiated a willing exit from the bath – picking him up against his will would have been ugly(er) – I wrapped him in his towel but he flung it off. I was trying to calmly explain to him that he needed to get nice and dry so we could put his diaper and pjs and and then watch BLUE!, when he threw himself at me, wrapped his arms around his neck and sobbed into my shoulder.

No big, right? Except, it has just been recently that Jamie has sought this type of comfort from me instead of asking to nurse. And I love it. I don’t know if it’s because he’s getting older or the longest weaning ever is starting to take hold, but being able to comfort him without having to give over my body is extremely fullfilling. As much as I’ve loved nursing and as rewarding as our breastfeeding relationship has been, it’s always a case of me having to give over something that in recent months I’m often not in the mood to give. But cradling my sobbing child, patting and soothing and wiping the tears, it feels, well, good. Not that my child is in pain, but that the mere fact of my arms around him eases that pain or even takes it away. It’s a quintessential act of mothering, much like breastfeeding, but one that will last our lifetime together. It’s the proof that growing up and growing apart is natural and good.

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One Comment

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  1. Michelle / Oct 8 2006 1:03 am

    When they just want you and to be comforted is a sweet thing.

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