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June 19, 2006 / allyo

Damn Monday

I had a really frustrating night tonight. Actually, the day started with an IBS episode, always a great way to start the day, hey, the week even! Then at work during a staff meeting some stuff about R’s estate came up and I had to run to the bathroom to cry for a few minutes. So, after work I’m feeling sad and my tummy still hurts from the morning’s acrobatics. Jamie was at his usual toddler/almost 2 level of persnickity-ness, eating the minimal amount of dinner needed to stay alive, but agreeing to retire to the family room for a post-dinner lazy-mom evening of tv and little people play with a minimum of fuss. He did scarf down some yogurt before going to bed, but alas, Kat’s suggestion did not work and there was a solid half-hour of nursing, complete with popping on and off, before Jamie finally peacefully drifted off to dreamland and , big sigh of relief, my evening could begin- wait, what’s that smell? Did he poop? No, he never poops at this time of night. It’s just a fart. But it could be a poop. What if it’s a poop? I have to change his diaper.  But even if it is poop, and I don’t smell anything at this very moment, so it could just be a fart, but even if it is poop, if he had pooped just five minutes later, I’d have no idea so him sleeping for, uh, 11ish hours in a poopy diaper isn’t that bad – ok fine.

One diaper change later, Jamie was wiiiiide awake. Twenty more minutes of nursing, during which I visualized sitting on the couch and watching Hell’s Kitchen (bad, bad, bad vice of mine), counted the days (months? years?) before I could just tuck him in and say "night!," and repeatedly counted to ten. Finally I cut him off, and another 15-20 minutes later he was asleep for keeps.

Add to that an early morning meeting tomorrow, and that as I write this MD STILL isn’t home – which of course makes me wonder could he really be working, this late at night? – and I’m feeling mopey, crabby, and a little like running away. Sigh.

As Jamie’s sitter’s helper says, "Happy night rest" everyone, and here’s to a better day tomorrow.


One Comment

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  1. KatS / Jun 23 2006 12:15 am

    Drat! Sorry my advice didn’t work. But I have to say I’m so excited you linked to me. You really linked to me! (I know, dorky attempt at humor, copying Sally Field).

    I hate those nights Mini takes forever to nurse, THEN I feel incredibly guilt for wanting her to go to sleep. J doesn’t help, stating, “she just needs close mommy time.” I feel twice as guilty then, for wanting alone time away from the babies.

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