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March 30, 2006 / allyo

Oh normal, how I love you so

We had a lovely, normal, boring evening last night. Dinner was on the table less than ten minutes after we got home, courtesy of MD/the crockpot/Trader Joe’s. Jamie actually ATE it, whoot, and we were done by 6:30. We played for an hour, Jamie went down easily and by 8:30 he was snoring away, the diapers were in the dryer, I was folding laundry and catching up on some tv. Boring is good, we like boring these days.

I didn’t check in with my grandma or my mom at all yesterday, although to be fair, my mom could have called me too. I’ve talked to my grandma this morning and left a message for my mom, and I’ve got to carve out some time in my day to get there this afternoon, but otherwise we’re in something of a holding pattern. I want to get over to her house this weekend to move some furniture around, since she’s decided she wants a hospital bed when she gets home (my suggestion, thanks very much, I’m tired of her living on her 15-year-old couch), and we need to have some more discussions about the "situation," but I think my mom may actually be hearing me. Maybe.

*****

A bit about the husband. First, I’m really thrilled about something. (Good news before bad, eh?) He’s really frustrated about the situation with my grandma and my mom, and he went out last night and had a beer to blow off some steam. AND, he told me about it. Not before he went, but he called me on the way home. Now, I think he may have only told me because he saw our old roommate and her husband and new he was going to get caught anyway, but there was a time when he would have vehemently denied it, even with two witnesses saying otherwise (it’s a part of his personality disorder). So I’m really happy about that. When I told him it was fine and I didn’t care, he tried to pull the, "But I feel SOOO GUILTY," act, I dunno why, if it was to try and get a rise out of me (an old pattern) or what, but I refused to bite and told him if he felt guilty that was all him, and I wasn’t putting it on him. Then he got really serious for a minute and told me how bad he feels for all the crap he did to me in the old days. That was nice. I’ll never forget, and I think the scars will always be there, just under the surface, but our situation was of both our makings, and it’s nice to know he has some idea of how much he hurt me. Of course he was referring to it as "five years ago," (he has a really bad time thing, everything is either "the other day," or "a long time ago"), and I had to gently remind him that it was much more recent than that, but I do appreciate the sentiment.

However, there’s something that’s driving me crazy, and I think I’m just going to have to accept that he’s going to spend most of his nights on the couch. Either because his allergies are acting up or he’s sick, both meaning he can’t wear his c-pap machine, or because of some injury. Save for a couple of weeks in February, he’s been on the couch since December. Those few weeks are part of the reason why I’ve been pushing so hard to get Jamie in his own bed full-time, because the three of us plus Maggie – who will not sleep on the floor, we’ve tried – don’t fit so well, even in our king-sized bed. I end up smooshed in the middle and wake with an aching back every morning.

But Jamie’s been waking again this week – teeth? ears? habit? – and I’ll be damned if I loose sleep over it. Night before last I brought him to bed when he woke at midnight – ugh, backsliding, there – and he slept until 6. Last night he woke around 12:45, and I got  him to sleep in his own bed, only to have him wake again at 3:45, brought him to bed, he woke AGAIN at 6.

MD’s been coughing a lot the last few nights because of his allergies, and he refuses to try my other friend Z because he doesn’t like nasal sprays. No, he’d rather cough and choke all night and be exiled to the couch until July, which is when his allergies die down. Right. So I’m done accommodating him, and I’ll deal with the kid later. Part-time co-sleeping it is.

So there.

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