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December 6, 2005 / allyo

Downward spiral

When I met Mad Dog’s sister almost 12 years ago, she was your typical exuberant adolescent. There were some cracks already, barely showing, beneath the surface, but their dad had killed himself just a few years before and everyone assumed the odd behavior here and there was just the fallout.

We became close and she would spend weekends at our apartment. We baked Christmas cookies together. She had her 16th birthday part at our place. And we were the first family members she came out to when she was 15.

She confided in me a lot, but what I didn’t realize was, the majority of what she was telling me was complete and utter bullshit. I became protective of her, with her heartless, cold mother and her borderline abusive step father. Mad Dog and I had fights over her – I wanted her to come live with us, he wanted to stay out of it. The situation was very, very complicated, and for many years her actual place of residence was up for grabs, so my desire wasn’t quite as pushy and over-the-top as it might seem.

Of course, the villians in her made-up drama weren’t real and with times those tiny, hairline fractures broke wide open for the world to see. The lies and manipulation for me culminated in two events. First, she told her aunt and grandfather (her dad’s family), with whom she was living, that she was thinking of killing herself. This is when they tried to impose some boundaries on her behavior, which was growing more and more erratic.  Of course they backed way the hell off, and haven’t said boo to her since.

Finally, a couple of years ago, she came over to talk to me. She was dropping out of college yet again and thought I should hear it from her. I tried to offer support, solutions, but she wanted neither. To this day, I’m not really sure what she wanted, but after going round and round for about an hour, I told her to leave. She wasn’t hearing a thing I was saying, and I was done listening to her excuses. I haven’t said much to her since.  Right around that time, Mad Dog’s mom began to suspect that she was abusing pain-killers. Since then, she’s totalled two cars, lost her car insurance, dropped out of school a few more times, and quite her job (or got fired). And started using crystal meth.

There’s been a lot of drama in the last few weeks, and Mad Dog and his brother finally had to tell their aunt about her drug habit. She cried, and said she had no idea. I’m not sure how that is possible, but there you have it. We haven’t heard a peep from either one of them since.

Supposedly she’s trying to get into rehab, who knows. Last I heard, MD’s aunt was buying her another car. This was before she found out about the drugs, but already knew his sister had no insurance. It’s just all kinds of fucked up. His aunt, she’s a lovely person, but has a blind spot when it comes to his sister and MD is afraid we’re going to lose her too. I don’t think we will, if only because of Jamie, but his sister has been a big wedge in our relationship for some time now. I don’t know that I could have predicted how anyone has acted throughout this entire mess. I’m just glad that our part in the drama is done. For now.

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