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June 3, 2005 / allyo

Say what?

Not to get all, "men are from one planet, women, another," but I swear, sometimes Mad Dog and I are speaking different languages. Beyond the normal girl/guy stuff, because I do think there’s some truth in that argument (some!), we simply approach the world through two very different lenses.

Our values, our morals, our politics, they all line up perfectly. One of the reasons I was attracted to him in the first place is that he doesn’t have a prejudiced or bigoted bone in his body. The crowd I ran with in my early 20s was all pretty liberal – I don’t suffer fools and bigots gladly – but still. We were, well, first, in our 20s, second, fairly sheltered middle-class Catholic mid-westerners, and third, white, and so finding a guy that didn’t think the occasional gay joke was a hoot, it was something of a challenge.

And if you navigated that last sentence successfully, hats off to you. This is a train-of-thought entry and with the lack of sleep I’ve been experiencing lately, the train, she is almost derailed. Anyway, back to my topic. Mad Dog, he’s open and friendly, he cares about the same things I care about, he cooks, cleans, changes diapers, and is pretty darn handy around the house. Generally speaking, he’s perfect for me.

Except, if asked to convey the exact same thought or idea, no matter how mundane, we’ll invariably come up with two different ways that in no sense resemble each other. I’ll say, "abc," he’ll say, "xyz." And then we’ll argue about who’s way is right.

Yes, we have arguments about semantics. We argue about whether we said something the "right" way, whether the other’s interpretation was justified, we argue about tone, and volume, and inflection. It makes me tired, sometimes, most of the time, really. Of course, we have these arguments when we’re the most tired or stressed, and as they’re really silly, nit-picky arguments anyway, they quickly veer into "well screw YOU" territory. It’s all very tiresome. Maybe I should just bite him in the leg and get it over with. God knows throwing things hasn’t worked.

What kills me is sometimes he is so absolutely literal. I’ll generalize, and he’ll pick at me until I’ve completely retracted my statement. Other times he’s so vague you couldn’t find a grain of actual information with an electron microscope. Inconsistency makes me nuts. More nuts. Sometimes I wonder if he’s trying to annoy me into an early grave.


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