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February 4, 2005 / allyo

The good news and the bad news

The Boy decided a couple of days ago to start going to bed around 7-7:30. The good news is, I now get some time to myself to cook, clean, pet the dogs or even (gasp) sit on the couch and watch tv. The bad news is, I now get to see my kid for MAYBE two hours a day during the week, two hours if I’m lucky, usually more like an hour and 40 minutes. And so here I am, at that place that every working mom – actually, most working parents, as I’m sure there are plenty of men out there like MD who hate this as much as I do – anyway, here I am, at that place where we all end up. The place where I ask my husband tearfully, “He knows we’re his parents, right?” Where instead of using my evening free time to be productive, I sit and mope on the couch eating popcorn, then announce to my husband when he comes home, “I’m eating popcorn because I’m sad.” The place where at about 3 in the afternoon my productivity takes a serious nose-dive and instead of working I look at the million and one pictures I have of my kid in my online photo album. I honestly feel as upended by these emotions as I did by the post-natal hormones coursing through my body a short while ago.

And also, I’m really pissed. How is it that seeing your kid a couple hours a day is accepted in this country? Everyone says, yeah, it sucks, but you’ll get used to it. Why do we get used to it? Our policies hate families. Why don’t we bitch and moan and write our politicians and get it on the agenda? Someday I’ll get my thoughts together and really talk about this more, but right now it’s Friday and I’m tired because my kid is now getting up 2, sometimes 3 times a night again to eat, and I’m emotionally worn out, and I really have to get back to work. Oh thank goodness it’s Friday. Forty-eight whole hours to spend with my kid and my husband. Whoo-whee, I’ve hit the jackpot!!

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